With a Sprinkling of Meat

China changes people. It does. There are no two ways around it. I know that I am changed woman. Yes, sir. For example, when I arrived in China, I had been a vegetarian for two years. Not so any longer. I have progressed to 'vegetarian with a sprinkling of meat.' In my early and hopeful days here in China, I google translated the word 'vegetarian' on my phone that I might have a hope of communicating my dietary infliction to the Chinese people. It turns out, the word vegetarian does not appear in the Chinese vocabulary and is a foreign concept, usually met with a shake of the head, hands and 'no.' I do my best to find tofu or, heaven forbid, vegetables. And if I do get lucky and find my desired dish, they are usually presented to me with a sprinkling of beef, or pork, or chicken or ox. Apparently carnivores have more fun anyway... 

I have also been entertaining myself with the game 'Count The White People.' It's pretty self explanatory. And yes, I know and fully understand just how racist that sounds. But the fact of the matter is that it just kind of adds a bit of an end goal to the normal people watching that goes on. It's just such a novelty to see someone else who shares your skin colour. If you really have a problem with it though, you can comfort yourself with the fact that the locals want to take photos with my travelling companions and I because of our fair complexion. If that's bit racist, I don't know what is. On one particularly successful evening, we reached 16 white people in a period of three hours. Which was absolutely astounding and has been the topic of much (excited) discussion since. Although it got pretty confusing when we went to see the pandas... Are they predominantly white with a little bit of black or black with a smattering of white? 

But we have moved on from mainland China to the land of sunshine, blue skies, palm trees, mangos and beauty pageants. It's nice to be somewhere we can see the sunshine and can sit outside without 5 merino tops on. Actually, it's nice just to be able to sit outside. China in winter is pretty grey and pretty cold. It's also a pretty big country, so despite still being in China we have managed to find sunshine.

We attended our first beauty pageant event last night. And in the eternal game of never have I ever, that we continually play in our lives, never have I ever felt so out of place at an event. More on this to come, as the events of (a very elaborate) Miss World 2015 unfold before my eyes. 

Hot N Cold

We have now progressed from Tibet to China proper. When I was in Tibet, I thought I was in China. I was wrong. Now that I am in China, I am in China. Not an easy distinction to understand, I don't think, unless you have been to both. Nevertheless, here we are in China. 

I feel like I am in some sort of strange rendition of Katy Perry's 'Hot N Cold.' I mean that in a literal sense, at least for the chorus. Let me explain... Nothing in this country is straight forward. Not ordering food. Not getting from one place to another. Not buying tickets. Not paying for things. Literally anything you can imagine gets more challenging with no verbal language, limited body language, no money and the Chinese culture. 

I'll start with the basic example of trying to get instructions out of people on the street... 'You're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no.' We would turn up to one bus station, and the locals would tell us to go to the train station. The attendants at the train station would tell us to go to a different bus station. At the second bus station, they tell us to go to the South Bus Station, so we ask for a second and third opinion before discovering that no buses go to our desired location because it's winter. 'You're in then you're out, you're up then you're down. You're wrong when it's right...' 

And that's only one example... We also went to this small town in The Middle of Nowhere, China (which took us 5 days to get to, but that's a story for another day). Only to find  when we arrived that we were cashless (in a cash only system) and no ATMs were reading our credit cards (i.e we were fucked). It was looking like two hungry girls and two cold nights under the stars. I spent a good portion of the evening the phone to the bank at home and visa, organising our emergency cash pick up. But come morning, the banks (which Visa International had told me I was to pick up my cash from) simply said no (much like the computer). To directly quote both banks I visited, 'our bank doesn't have that function, please go to the other bank.' To say I wanted to slap the bank tellers around would probably be the understatement of the century.


Ordinarily, I would say that I am a relatively patient (if not patient, at least calm) person. Not so in China. I have wanted to punch more people on this country in the last two weeks than I have at home in the last twenty years. Needless to say, China has a way of pressing people's buttons. The spitting doesn't help. But it's not all bad. The food is amazing. When you get somewhere epic, it is epic for sure. But getting to that epic place may just be the end of you. However, I resolve to continue to try and see the epic places here until I am ended. Even if the yes's are no's, the rights are wrongs, the ups are downs and the ins are outs. 

7 Days in Tibet

Alright, alright, so I cheated. I drove to Everest Base Camp. In a van. On a tour. But at least I say it how It is. And in my defence, I did still have to tackle many mountain passes and cope with the altitude (when I got out of the van to take some photos). At one point I even felt a little nauseous. So I actually had to work hard for the experience of Everest base camp... But not really. However, from the Tibetan side, trekking to Everest base camp is nigh on impossible, due to the political situation, especially when compared to the ease with which one can trek to Everest base camp from the Nepal side. Tibet, the province of China (or country in its own right if you want to be controversial) is notoriously difficult to get into. Let alone get through. Let alone do anything legitimately intrepid in. So I couldn't have walked to Everest base camp from Tibet, even though I really really wanted to. Instead, I just sat tight and did what I was told. I'm good at that. 

Now don't get lost in the depth of this next statement, but I wrote this when I saw Everest for the first time from a distance of about 150 km. To be honest, the mountain, the view, it made my (arm) hair stand on end.

"In China, the most populated country on earth, there is nobody here. Nobody lives here. Nobody wants to. It's just the mountains and the sky with nothing and no one in between.

I'd always assumed that Himalayas were high and that Everest would be just another indistinguishable peak among many. It's not. You can see Everest clearly from 150 km away. It is unrivalled. Undisputedly, Everest claims the title of Top of the World."

Thank goodness that's over. I wrote that when we were still a solid 4 hours drive away from base camp. But by the time we arrived at base camp however, Everest just looked like another mountain. Looking up, there was nothing to tell you that this mountain was a beast. It was not that high; didn't look that hard to climb. Not that anything. It was difficult to believe that we had arrived at the base of the Goddess of the Earth, as the Tibetans call her. So we talked, joked and laughed about how easy the climb looked. I even sneezed at the mountain - the altitude does that to you (makes you both Sneezy and slightly deluded). But on return to civilisation we watched the film Everest (2015 Hollywood edition) about the 1996 disaster. Needless to say, that shut us all up. Despite the mountain looking pint sized (or at least ordinary sized) from the bottom, the film definitely depicted, rather traumatically I might add, the hostility of the mountain. But I mean, surely if a 13 year old American kid can climb it, it can't be that challenging right?!?

On a different note entirely, I would also like to add that aside from my trip to Everest base camp, other adventures in Tibet include getting a little too close for comfort to a yak (named Jack) with large horns, being surrounded by, photographed by and laughed at by local Tibetans and no story is complete (or at least it shouldn't be) without befriending a puppy or too, which of course, I also did. 

I'm alive

So, I would firstly like to apologise for assuming that my blog would work in China. It doesn't. Luckily for you, my loyal supporters and for me, I have discovered an app that rights all wrongs on this front. But just so that you know, I was all prepared to have a backlog of handwritten blogs in my diary to post when I got back to countries where blogs and Facebook and YouTube and gmail (and freedom?) are allowed. So I am dedicated. Obviously, I am dedicated because I am sitting on my bed in Lhasa, Tibet writing my bloody blog. As if that's what all normal people do when they are in Tibet.

But I guess I should back track a couple of days to arrival in hot, sticky, humid Hong Kong. In this strange and foreign land, I have learnt two things. Firstly, the locals are super friendly - if you start to think about asking for directions someone has already answered your question. Secondly, and much more importantly, I discovered that I can't use chopsticks for shit. Perhaps not the best self-realisation to have on the way to The Middle ofNnowhere. Alas, here we are. In The Middle of Nowhere. I still can't use chopsticks, but I am learning slowly. Emphasis on slowly, but I am trying to hurry this process up a bit because I am concerned that I am going to have to go hungry in the not too distant future. And hunger leads to hanger which leads to a genuinely unpleasant experience for all involved. In a 5 mile radius.

It's always difficult to know what to tell people about travels.

Hong Kong.

It's hot. It's humid. It's busy. It's beautiful. It's chaotic.

Tibet.

It's high. It's cold. It's clear. It's crazy. It's traditional. In an untraditional sense.

And without fail, the people are amazing and generous and warm.

I'll let you know if something funny happens. Its a dangerous world out there. So until I come out with some horrific sorry of my utter ignorance about everything, stay safe. In a role of bubble wrap. It'll help protect you from the storm.

And I'll work on photos for next time... The blog itself was achievement enough for one night!

Over yonder

It has been an eventful past 10 days. I’ve finished my degree in chemistry and oceanography, with the very real possibility of throwing up both before my exams, and after. Only one of those two possibilities came to fruition.

Since I finished my exams (and recovered from the aftermath), I haven’t looked back. I have been frolicking in the mountains, swimming in the river, enjoying the sunshine, cuddling with the dog, and just generally chilling the fuck out.

Recovering from the swim

Chilling the fuck out

Luxury accommodation

Complete with soft fluffy beds

And mood lighting

Something to get excited about

Frolicking in the mountains

Enjoying the sunshine

Paradise

Oh hey, NZ

My dad, the Mountain Man

But this fun and relaxing is all about to change. Today, I board a plane and head off into the great blue yonder. I am venturing to the land where minimal Facebook has ever ventured. And that’s all that I really wanted to say. That I won’t have Facebook (*shock horror*). So, if you want to know the mishaps, mistakes, missteps, misadventures and mischief that my friend and I will get up over yonder, you might need to take some initiative and actually look this blog up from time to time. But if you’re not that interested, then fear not, I won’t be spamming your Facebook wall for 7 weeks or so. So you can count your lucky stars.