The Girl From New Zealand Advantage

I am:

"The Girl From New Zealand"

This, in turn, means that I have "The Girl From New Zealand Advantage."

I would have liked "The Kiwi Advantage," as I think it has a much better ring to it, however it turns out the term ‘Kiwi’ I not nearly as widely used as I originally thought.

Skiing in Iceland

White out

Non-New Zealanders think ‘kiwi’ is a ‘fruit.’ Personally, I find this definition dangerously close to being ‘vegetable.’

Kiwi = fruit.

Fruit = vegetable.

Therefore:

Kiwi = vegetable.

I am not ok with being identified as a vegetable, so I refrain from using 'Kiwi' to describe myself.

Lengthy lift lines in Akureyri

Anyway, having "The Girl From New Zealand Advantage" is my get out of jail free card in all situations. Nobody knows anything about New Zealand (other than The Lord of the Rings and Flight of the Conchords) so anything that I do that is deemed strange, I can simply smile and say:

‘Well, in New Zealand…’

In NZ we find it funny when our friends can't ski

This explanation works time and time again. Jokes on everyone else. 

Everyone hates snowboarders.

Interestingly, as soon as people know I am from New Zealand, I am automatically ‘cool.’ I find this funny, given my inherent 'uncool' status, that is easily observable if you ever have a real conversation to me... Jokes on everyone else (again).

...however, this guy...

...will never be cool...

...no matter where he is from...

I was skiing this weekend, and my friend commented:

‘Wow, what a view.’

The view.

I looked at it with repulsed disbelief and thought:

'You have never been to New Zealand,"

And said:

'Oh, it’s ok... It’s pretty grey though.'

Maybe I should change my title to:

"The Snob From New Zealand."

However, I did see the Northern Lights last night, for the first time. I was suitably impressed. I said ‘wow’ twice.