Lord of the Rings

Lord of the Rings comes up often here. I am forever hearing comments such as:

‘Oh, we are really in Lord of the Rings territory now.’

‘Can’t you just imagine the hobbits walking to Mordor?’

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

A very pretty waterfall

I have a problem with these comments. My logic goes like this (and is probably flawed, but I don’t want to know):

Lord of the Rings is filmed in New Zealand.

New Zealand is home.

Iceland is not home, nor does it look like or seem like home in anyway.

Therefore, Lord of the Rings is home, and not Iceland.

A very pretty view

Despite liking the movies, I would not say that I particularly identify with any of the characters.

On Saturday, we went adventuring to some lava caves – a rather Gollum like environment. These caves were rather large and the floor was covered in piles of rocks. This made walking rather difficult, especially if you are the forward thinking individual such as myself and forget a headlamp.

Gollum's cave

My iPhone light proved useful in this situation. However, taking one of my hands, having no wrist strap (because wrist straps are kind of like Crocs – lame) and being a bit of a durrie, tripping of course leads to the overriding of the body to do stupid things, like letting go of your phone.

Which happened.

Now, I consider myself a fairly laid-back person. Not a lot of things wind me up. Most of the time, I just find things funny. This was not one of those times.

Forward-thinking individuals

My one and only thought was:

‘Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.’

Hindsight, being the wonderful thing that it is, has led me to believe that is the less politically correct way of Gollum screaming:

‘Lost! Lost! My precious is lost!’

The cold light of day

Luckily though, my phone had not continued on into the abyss and luckily, I had brought some friends with unnaturally long arms (which would normally just be weird, but on this occasion proved rather helpful).

Eriksjökull

So, I have come to the conclusion that I identify most with Gollum.

I find this seriously worrying and disturbing.