Lost and Found

This week, I found a friend.

This dog is also a friend, but not the one I am talking about

Who had lost his bag (and previously his passport. Twice).

Water angle #1

So he found some shorts, to tie him over.

Water angle #2

Then he found his bag.

Water angle #3

And promptly lost his shorts.

Water angle #4 with Turkish flag compliment

Morning sun on Bodrum

Crows on a hilltop

I found my friend.

Sunrise

But I have lost my sanity.

I'm going to be a pirate now

Monty Python and the Life of Turkey

Another week… This week, I have travelled to Turkey. Here I am effectively doing WOOFing.

A turkey... In Turkey...

Sometimes, the situation reminds me of Monty Python (for the sake of this blog entry and privacy, my superior will be impersonating the Knight of Ni and later the Bridgekeeper).

Some pretty fuchsia flowers

Recently, the Knight of Ni had me move a large pile of straw (about 20 m to the east).

To which I responded:

“Oh, Knight of Ni, you are just and fair and I shall not return until the deed is done.”

The Aegean

Then they wanted me to rake up the leaves and feed them to the goats (but now while there are customers, which is all day every day).

To which I responded:

“Oh, Knight of Ni, you are just and fair and I shall not return until the deed is done.”

The countryside

Then they wanted me to sweep the path (but it was too dusty, so my mission was aborted earlier than anticipated).

To which I responded:

“Oh, Knight of Ni, you are just and fair and I shall not return until the deed is done.”

Dinner

Then, they wanted us to ‘clear everything’ from a particular area on the farm.

To which I responded:

“Oh, Knight of Ni, you are just and fair and I shall not return until the deed is done.”

The café

Two days later, the Knight of Ni, who has, for the sake of this weeks’ blog miraculously become the Brudgekeeper and exclaims:

“He who approaches the Bridge of Death, must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see…”

The café

To which we replied:

“Ask me the questions. I am not afraid”

“What are you doing?”

“Clearing everything”

“What for?”

“Because you told us to…”

“No, I just told you to pick up the rocks. There is a machine coming through later to do what you are doing. Are you stupid?”

“Do you know the definition of ‘clear everything’?”

“Huh? I don’t –“

The café

And then he was fired from his role as Bridgekeeper and thrown into the great chasm beneath the Bridge of Death.

The dogs

My life here thus far has reminded me of the epic 'Monty Python,' minus some of the epic-ness.

Teddy Bears' Picnic

So, I’m currently in Sweden. I have come to the conclusion that there are a lot of woods in Sweden. As a result, ‘The Teddy Bear’s Picnic” has been rattling around in my head for the past week.

Teddy Bears' Picnic

I haven’t been able to go for a walk or a run without there being:

‘If you go down to the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise.

If you go down to the woods today, you’d better go in disguise.

For every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain,

Because today’s the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic.’

As much as I wanted to see a Teddy Bear’s Picnic, it really wasn’t top of my list. A moose would have sufficed.

Or an Isbjörn

Or a deer.

Or a Persiska Leopard

Or a bear.

Or a Kodiakbjörn

Or a wolf.

Varg

Or a wolverine.

Or some Hästar

Or a lynx.

Or another Kodiakbjörn

Or anything cool really...

Hus

I saw none of these things in the wild woods. I did however see a snake. Rather too close for comfort. I was just minding my own business walking along the path, when, BAM, there it was.

Blommor #1

I’ll tell you what, I got a huge surprise… I screamed.

Disguise = down

Unfortunately, I wasn’t that well disguised… I screamed.

Blommor #2

In The Teddy Bear’s Picnic, The Original, there are two useless verses in the middle before we get to the important final verse that goes like this:

“If you go down to the woods today, you’d better not go alone.

It’s lovely down in the woods today, but safer to stay at home.

For every bear that ever there was will gather for certain,

Because today’s the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic.”

Dammen

I have concluded that the Teddy Bears are not so likely to eat you, but you should definitely watch out for the snakes. If you don’t think you need to be concerned about the snakes (did I mention that I saw two on the same day?) then maybe you still need to look out for the horse flies (that don’t differentiate between humans and horses) or the sand flies baby cousin (just large enough to be incredibly irritating). 

Träd

Disclaimer: Jag kan inte prata svenska, so if there are mistakes in my swedish, I apologise but it can not be helped and I can not be helped.

I Am Sweden

One of my celebratory activities regarding my arrival in Sweden has been to go hiking in the mountains (I would classify these more as mounds in the ground, or blips on an otherwise level plain, but, no matter).

Sweden

There was an interesting group dynamic (in our little posy of three), each with our own self-proclaimed titles.

Sweden

The Moron

A self-diagnosis, which normally I would classify as highly dangerous, but in this case, I thought to be rather accurate. Especially when he told the story of how:

“When I was little, I thought that all gingers were retarded…”

Sweden in summer

If that’s not a moronic thing to think, and then to retell to your friends (one of whom was Ranga) years later, then I don’t know what is.

Sweden

The Ranga

Obviously originating from the hair colour that was similar in hue to that of an orangutan. This title of course meant that many a conversation ended with:

“Oh, but you’re a Ranga, so you have no soul,” (idea from South Park)

Norway

OR

Norway

"Oh, but Rangas are retarded so your argument is void," (idea from the Moron)

Sweden

Norway

I, was, alternatively, the Swedish persona in the group. I represented profound peace and modesty in the situation.

Norway

I did not make any Ranga jokes, despite sore temptation.

I did not look down on the Ranga, because he was Ranga.

I did not give him with any special treatment despite his handicap.  

Norway

I did not hold it against him that he is lactose intolerant as well, meaning that, after our cheesy dinner the previous night, he was letting rip every 2 minutes.

Packs

I am Sweden.