I am my father’s daughter. The more time
that I spend away from my family, the more apparent this becomes. I know that
my dad had this realisation before my 22nd birthday, likening my
complete and utter state of disarray to him. However, the similarities
have continued to come thick and fast.
My delightful father has a tendency to take
unsuspecting victims on tramps that are, let’s be completely honest here, hell
on earth. Quietly pushing his own agenda so that he has some company on the
epic adventures that he wants to go on. However, this policy means that he can
usually on take people on his adventures once before they get such a fright
that they run a mile and never touch Bruce Adventures Inc with so much as a
barge pole for as long as they live.
Big Bend National Park
Druid Arch, Canyonlands National Park
Angel's Landing hike
Zion National Park
Anyway, about me (because that’s what this
blog is all about isn’t it?). So I wanted to go backpacking (which is the
American word for tramping). And my travel companion, Emma, agreed to letting
me organize an overnight trip. So, I decided, as I have learnt from my father,
that you are graced with the best views when you work for them, i.e. when you
have walked up a hill and are well and truly dead (everything looks better when
you’re a bit delirious). So, I searched for a hill we could walk up. Needless
to say I found one. We were situated in Kings Canyon after all, making the only
way we could go, straight up. I decided that 5500 feet (1600 m) of elevation
gain seemed like a good idea. With switchback after switchback after switchback
after switchback. About half way up, we decided that once we got to the top, we
would be all good… How could it get any worse? A tip for young players, never
decide that something is the ‘worst part’ of a trip until the trip is over.
After 4 ½ hours of walking up, we arrived at the top. With no water (if this road trip has taught me nothing, it is that the US is just one huge desert). And if the desert has no water, neither do the canyons. And even if there is water, you can’t just drink it. Because what about the little buglets that live in the water? The Little Nasties that just want to make your time even worse? So we changed our tune and decided that maybe the hill wasn’t so bad after all and maybe it was the fact that we had no water that would be the death of us, because, you know, dehydration.
But then we had to stop and get water. And holy heck. Never have I ever seen so many mosquitos. At which point Emma turned around (at-the-6-hours-into-our-expedition-stage) and said, ‘Steph, can we just leave now and walk back down the hill?.’ To which I replied, ‘That is probably not the best idea ever (at 3:30 pm in the afternoon).’ We ran the last part of our walk, set up our tent, sat inside (killing mosquitos by the dozen) and concluded that the hike had not been worth it and that the mosquitos were without a doubt, the worst part. Never have I ever looked so diseased without actually being diseased.
After 4 ½ hours of walking up, we arrived at the top. With no water (if this road trip has taught me nothing, it is that the US is just one huge desert). And if the desert has no water, neither do the canyons. And even if there is water, you can’t just drink it. Because what about the little buglets that live in the water? The Little Nasties that just want to make your time even worse? So we changed our tune and decided that maybe the hill wasn’t so bad after all and maybe it was the fact that we had no water that would be the death of us, because, you know, dehydration.
But then we had to stop and get water. And holy heck. Never have I ever seen so many mosquitos. At which point Emma turned around (at-the-6-hours-into-our-expedition-stage) and said, ‘Steph, can we just leave now and walk back down the hill?.’ To which I replied, ‘That is probably not the best idea ever (at 3:30 pm in the afternoon).’ We ran the last part of our walk, set up our tent, sat inside (killing mosquitos by the dozen) and concluded that the hike had not been worth it and that the mosquitos were without a doubt, the worst part. Never have I ever looked so diseased without actually being diseased.
Was it worth it? You ask me.
Eh. I reply. Maybe next time I’ll pack a
long shirt and some bug spray.
Was it worth it? You ask Emma.
Eh. She replies. I’m never touching a Steph
Adventures Inc. with a barge pole again.
Marmot at Alta Peak, Sequoia National Park
Granite Lake, Kings Canyon National Park
Granite Lake, Kings Canyon National Park
Kings Canyon, Kings Canyon National Park
Granite Basin, Kings Canyon National Park
Canyonlands National Park
Alta Peak, Sequoia National Park
Pear Lake, Sequoia National Park
In other news, I have visited a retirement
RV park in Palm Springs. Met a cat, trained like a dog. Stayed on a hippie
commune in Santa Fe. Picked up a straggler for 24 hours. Seen a snake get stuck
in a hole because it was too fat. Had custom made boots engineered for me in
Mexico. Been underwhelmed by the world’s largest underground cavern and by the
world’s largest tree.*
America
*by volume
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