The Birthday of the Queen

Studying truly is bad for your health. I speak from extensive first hand experience. I’m convinced it’s like smoking… the only difference being that the research just isn’t quite there yet. In a few more years we are going to wonder why the university system ever endorsed such an archaic and barbaric system.

Smoking: It's got to be good for you

Here is my breakdown of why studying is bad for your health. Studying is bad for one’s physical, spiritual and emotional well-being.

Physical detrimental effects of studying

I am seriously concerned that I am going to become the  new Quasimodo; the new Hunchback of Notre Dame. I actually read an article on the web the other day that said sitting for more than three hours a day is bad for you and should be avoided (at all costs). So even if I did sit up straighter, I would still be screwed. The science of detrimental effects of studying on one’s health is already there but we just have not yet, officially, managed to connect the dots. This might sound a bit silly, but I am also worried about getting a square bum from sitting down for so long. You might think that I am joking but I am not. I am concerned about this.

Quasimodo/Me

Emotional detrimental effects of studying

Studying is bad for your emotional wellbeing. I have nightmares about my study. I wake up thinking about my study. It’s the last thing I think about at night. That’s obsessive. Obsessive behaviour is not good or normal. Surely there has been science done about the detrimental effects of obsessive behaviour on one’s emotional health.

AND this morning I opened my old faithful laptop to be greeted by ‘Critical micelle concentration of surfactant and mixed surfactant and polymer by different methods at room temperature and its importance.’ If that’s not going to be detrimental to one’s health, then the world isn’t round (actually, the earth isn’t round – it’s more of an ellipsoid, but you get my point).  

It's not round

Spiritual detrimental effects of studying

Studying is most definitely bad for your spiritual well-being. There’s nothing like a below par afternoon of study to really get your spirits down. To make matters worse, this particular weekend (the one right before my exams) is the birthday of the Queen (the real one; not the family royalty). Queen Lizzie has chosen the worst possible weekend to have a birthday and it’s not even her real birthday… Anyway, being good patriots of an small english colony far from the Crown, my family has come together for this one weekend in history to celebrate ol’ Queenie. It has literally been over 18 months since we were all together. But we’re not really all together, because I’ve been studying. Which has most definitely been terrible for the levels of my spirit. It is literally a bigger family gathering than Christmas for the last two years. We have family from Auckland, family from Wellington, family from Timaru, family from Invercargill – seriously, what the hell? It’s only the queen and it’s only her birthday; it’s not like she died or anything.

The Queen: Not dead yet

Pretty much my family

Detrimental side-effects of  studying

Side effects of this study business include eating the house out of all nice food; lack of exercise and lack of sunlight. Papa Bear bought me two packets of my all-time favourite biscuits this week, to help get me through. I am not sure that they’ll help me get anywhere other than the diabetes clinic. (They even joked about needing to take the side of the house off for me, which they found funny; me - not so much).

I have also raised the status of my room to that of a health-hazard. It has become a complete pig-sty (it is, therefore, a good thing that I like pigs). It is so messy that I am ill at ease about walking through my own bedroom. Sometimes I stand on a folder, sending me sliding. Sometimes I stand on something that goes crunch, which is very disconcerting. And then sometimes, I wonder if it is possible for clothes to get matted into the carpet, the same way things can get matted into one’s hair.

Me in my room

I would tidy it, but the last time I tidied my room, I lost all my important university documents and had bad karma for a week (that’s a real thing). So I’m leaving tidying my room till after my exams. The state of my room is all the more hazardous because earlier this week, I tripped over the cord to my bedside lamp, which of course, fell to its imminent death. Needless to say, it has not been resurrected, so my hazardous room, has become even more hazardous due to the lack of emergency floor path lighting.

My room

However, the week hasn’t been without it’s entertainment too… I took Mama Bear with me to my spin class this week (we were trying to combat the ‘lack of exercise’ side-effect of studying). She arrived with her shorts on inside out and no water bottle. She nearly fainted during the class, when we did time trials (where you are explosive over short distances). It wasn’t till she got home that I told her that the instructor was making up the commentary at the front of the room; he actually had no idea how fast you were going or which team won. You’ve got to give her some props though, for effort, and not wanting to let the team down.  But the point of this short anecdote is to illustrate that studying, and it’s side effects are extremely detrimental to one’s health.

So, enjoy the Queen’s birthday. Whether you be studying or enjoying the sunshine, you can’t win.